.:Rant:.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
yep.. okay. i changed me bloggie. actually, i wanted to start a blog away from blogger, cos it just reminds me of too much... depressing stuff and all that... but um... since diary-x's down and i couldn't seem to adapt myself to the other chinese blogs and stuff like that, i shall stick back to blogger, but a new blog. but i really want to get away from this place. yep. i really don't want my batch to split because of politics, i really don't want to dislike/hate anyone at all because of politics. it's really such a stupid thing to get into a tiff over. but now politics also involves ideals and all that kind of rubbish which we hold closer to our values and all that kind of stuff that makes up our person. so i guess... tiffs are unavoidable now. but is like, some of us are on like completely different sides. not that there should be any sides since what we all want is the best for the band. no. i'm not some stupid naive fool who thinks that the world can be a lovey-dovey and everyone should love one another, and it's possible for everyone to love one another. if i were, i wouldn't even be on the side i'm on now. but i really don't want such really stupid things ruin good friendships and all that kind of stuff. why cant' she just see that what's she's trying to implement and impose just cannot work for the band? why can't she see that she's doing more harm than good? is like, if you want a bunch of people to bond well and everything, you do not go for the pink bunny kind of relationship, all fluffy and cute. that type of stuff is the most fake ever. people bond the best through hardship. fluffy-wuffy allows things to be taken for granted. you know you are the biggest hypocrite ever? you dare say that you are open to our comments and opinions, that you listen to what we have to say. but in the end, no matter what kind of opposition to some of the things you've implemented is brought up, no matter how small, you will always blow it off by giving the same crackpot rationale you always give. apologising and asking us to try look at the difficulties you face does not let you off the hook. you ask us to be considerate for others, you always ask that. then if that's the case, maybe we should just simply stop playing/practising altogether? cos according to other people, we disturb them with our playing, that we're very noisy. yep. we have to be considerate to all those around us. we have to be the self-sacrificing fools. no wait. that's you isn't it? after all, you did sacrifice all your time and efforts to help us, help us change our image, help us fight for what we want. you know, maybe we don't give a freaking damn about our image? you know, i'm kinda pleased with myself, i've been ranting about this person which i seriously don't like [and i think it's kinda obvious who] and guess what? no vulgarities yet. come to think of it, i'm just to tired to get annoyed or agitated about her. besides, she's not worth it. though i think we should seriously have more bitching sessions like what we had yesterday. though i won't be surprised if i get blacklisted. as if i give a damn. i think i'm really stupid, beginning this new blog with her. oh wells. like i've said, blogger just reminds me too much stuff of the past... [i sound old...] read me mother's blog. her entry on her class started me wishing that we were back last year once more... it's not that i refuse to move on from the past, but sometimes, with the way things are going in band, sometimes i just wish that i was back in 209, where i can just scream and curse and rant and people could actually understand sometimes. sometimes i feel as if i'm treading on thin ice with some people in my class now. i want bakc 209, where people basically don't judge you at all. [shit. if i continue anymore, i think i might cry...] sometimes i regret coming to rgs altogether. but if i didn't, i wouldn't have known sanqian, rathi, dharsh, yuxin, peirong, flora and many many many other people... but is like, sometimes i really do think that all that my social circle consists of is sanqian... and maybe that guy whom sanqian insist look like kime on friday nights... okay... must look on the bright side... must look on the bright side... must look on the bright side... and guess what the bright side is, i don't have to face the annoying bunch of brats on the coming friday... whoot. sometimes i swear white hair will just simply pop up after staring at them for an hour. oh and we broke the record on friday... 2 1/2 hours of training... from 7.30 all the way to 10.00... i seriously think we rock big time. and guess what. grading's on the 23rd april... == i can already feel the headache i'm going to get teaching them their patterns... x.x
7:19 AM